New Dog: First 30 Days Plan (Survive + Bond)

Dog: 2yr female lab mix, ~50 lbs, just adopted from city shelter, unknown history, scared of men. Household: couple, no kids, no other pets. WFH 4 days / 1 office day. Apartment with elevator. New owners.

Week 1 — Decompression The 3-3-3 rule: 3 days to settle, 3 weeks to learn the routine, 3 months to fully bond.

First week is about LOWERING the stress hormone load, nothing else. Don't introduce her to your friends. Don't take her to the dog park. Don't even bring her to your favorite cafe.

Do:

• Set up a quiet corner with bed, water, and the crate (door open). Let her choose where to sleep.
• 2 short, quiet walks a day. Same block. Predictability is everything.
• Hand-feed kibble from a flat palm for 5 min twice a day. Builds trust faster than any toy.
• Speak in a lower, slower voice when your partner (male) is around her. Let him toss treats without making eye contact for the first week.

Don't:

• Force pets. Let her come to you.
• Bath her. (Stress + new place + soap = trauma.)
• Have anyone over.

Week 2 — Routine

• Feed at same 2 times. Walk at same 3 times.
• Crate training: 5 min alone in apartment day 1, 10 min day 3, 20 min day 5, 45 min day 7. Reward with a stuffed Kong before each absence.
• Start sleeping in bedroom (crate or bed) — same room reduces separation anxiety long-term.
• One vet visit booked for routine check + heartworm test.

Week 3 — Training

• 'Find it' game: scatter 5-10 kibbles, say 'find it'. 5 min twice a day. Builds confidence + bond.
• Name + look-at-me: treat every time she looks at you when you say her name.
• Sit on a cue, with a hand signal.
• Recall: only inside or on a long line. Reward like she just won a marathon.

Week 4 — Socialization (carefully)

• 1 quiet new place (a different park, not the dog park). 15 min.
• Vet visit follow-up if any concerns.
• First time meeting another dog: only if both are calm, on-leash, parallel walk, never face-to-face.
• Skip the dog park for at least 2 more months. Most fights happen there.

5 biggest mistakes:

1. Doing 'too much, too soon' — friends over, hikes, dog parks in week 1.
2. Free-feeding (food out all day) → ruins motivation for training.
3. Skipping the crate because 'she seems sad' → crate is the safest tool you have.
4. Punishing fear (scolding her for hiding from your partner) → makes fear worse.
5. Calling a trainer too late — wait until week 6+ to evaluate behaviors, but if there's a bite by week 2, get help immediately.

Trainer or DIY?

• DIY: routines, basic cues, decompression.
• Trainer (force-free, positive reinforcement only): if you see fear-biting, severe resource guarding, or you simply don't know where to start. Book by week 3.

House rules card:

• Wait by the door, let me approach. No reaching toward my face.
• No food from the table or hand-feeding without permission.
• Don't pet me while I'm eating or sleeping.
• If I retreat to my corner/crate, please leave me alone.